A Day In The Life Of Bella Swan
by xpleasexbexminex
Summary: So the title tells it all. Its how Bella spends her days without Edward but before the stupid dog came into her life. It a oneshot maybe a 2 shot, and its rated T for self harm so if you dont like that then you might not want to read this. :


Oh k so ive had this idea for awhile, and i needed to make a story out of it...definitely review. And this might be a two parter if i can come up with an idea of how Edward reacts when he finds out about Bellas secret. Hope you enjoy...and definitely review cause i love criticism : )

xoxo E

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Bella Swan woke up, and sat up in her bed. It was 5:30 and she was up early. She went into the shower. When she was done she got out and got dressed. She threw her hair up into a ponytail and avoided putting makeup on, its not like she had anyone to impress. She went to school and sat there. She went from period to period and then she got to lunch. She just sat at the table. The first couple of weeks after_ it_ happened, Angela or Jessica would try to talk to her, but now they didn't even try. Sometimes she would look over to where _they_ used to sit. At first she would brake out in uncontrollable sobs and have to leave the lunchroom, but now she couldn't't even produce tears, so if she happened to look over there she would just look away and forget she was stupid enough to think they might be there. After lunch she continued with her classes and then at 1:30 she would go to the bathroom. Everyday at 1:30 she headed to the bathroom, her savior hidden in her back pocket.

She went straight to the first stall she saw and locked the door. She took off her sweatshirt, pulled out the paper clip and started to cut. She doesn't even remember where she got the idea to start. Back in Phoenix, this girl Deanna used to cut herself. She never understood why. She only knew because one day when they were changing in gym, she saw the neat rows of barely visible lines on her legs and her inner arm. The first time she cut herself, she wasn't sure if it would help her pain, but she needed something to help. It was either cut herself or kill herself, and since she knew that killing herself would not make Edward come back, she went with the latter.

Her first time was in her room at about 2 in the morning. She had just had one of her nightmares. When she woke up she thought _he _was there, but instead of seeing _his _beautiful angelic face smiling down at her she saw her fathers concerned face instead, that made her cry harder. After she was calmed down, and Charlie had left, she didn't want to go back to bed yet, so she started playing with a paper clip next to her bed. She was twisting it when it broke, leaving a sharp edge. For what seemed like hours she stared at the sharp point of the paper clip and then she lowered it to the skin on her upper arm. At first it hurt a little, cutting the skin, over and over again, letting it bleed and bleed until she was satisfied. At the first sight of blood she immediately thought of why he left in the first place, and then the smell made her feel sick. She started to hold her breath and cut more. Seeing the blood leave her new wound, for some odd reason, helped her cope with him being gone. She felt almost peace, at seeing the blood. It was ironic how the one thing she hated the most, was comforting her in her time of need.

Cutting her self became her new obsession, so at least twice a day she cut herself, once at 1:30 and the other when she took a shower at night. Living in forks was actually quite perfect for her new pastime. She always wore long sleeve shirts and sweatshirts, so hiding the cuts helped. And for gym, she just wore her sweatshirt. No one had any idea Bella Swan was the poster girl for self-harm. It was her secret and she wasn't telling. The little time in school that she had with her new friend was all she needed to feel a little better in school and it helped her not want to leave school. She would never be OK with _him_ leaving though, she knew that for a fact, the only time she would be OK was if _he_ came back. She was sure that he wasn't coming back any time soon.

After school she drove home in her truck. She got in the house, started dinner, and did her homework. When Charlie came home, they would eat together in silence and then after dinner she would finish up her homework or sit in her room while Charlie sat downstairs watching television. Sometimes he would knock on her door and ask her questions. She would answer yes or no, now he doesn't ask anymore, he just leaves her alone. She doesn't want to talk to him, and the last time he talked to her, he told her that her depression needed to end, and that she needed to forget about _him_, that was about a month ago, and they haven't spoken since. He just doesn't understand, in fact he can't understand. When Edward Cullen left Bella alone, _he_ took her heart with _him_. _He_ took apart of herself with _him_. _He_ stole her happiness and her love and her will to live, and she was not going to get it back, no matter what happened or who came along. She would always be _his_ Bella, and no one else's. She was never going to be the same unless _he_ came back, and she prayed to God _he_ would.


End file.
